literature

France x Reader: All I Got

Deviation Actions

threepinkdoors's avatar
Published:
23.5K Views

Literature Text

France x Reader: All I Got
Request for MizureChan

The rain bombarded the window. It was hell outside, but inside it was warm. You sat on your couch, looking miserably at your unstarted cup of cocoa. Your eyes were red and your nose was runny. But you weren't sick. It was a simple matter, really--someone had just broken your heart, and their bonds to you. Your cellphone still had the text message he had sent you. "I'm breaking up with you. I found someone else who made me very happy last night. We can still be friends, right?"

Outside you could heard a car door slam. You ignored it, trying instead to focus on your misery. A rap on the window, and someone called your name. You looked up. A man with long blonde hair and pools of blue eyes stood in the rain, begging to be let in. You stood and walked to the door, leaning into it for a minute, pondering whether or not you were to let this man in. He was your best friend, though. When you opened the door, he was soaked from head to toe. But he wrapped his arms around you and held you in a tight embrace. "__________," he whispered.

You pushed away, fighting back the urge to cry again. He looked at you with concern. He took off his wet jacket and led you back to the couch. "__________, I 'eard what happened..." he began. You looked away, not wanting to talk about the situation, especially not with the guy who was known for sleeping around. "Can I do anyzhing for you, ma cherie?" You shook your head; no. There really was nothing he could do. He couldn't turn back time. What's done is done, and nothing was going to change that.

Francis leaned back and looked outside the window. He sighed. "What a 'orrible day... It's been raining non-stop all morning." You didn't react to his comment. "But you know... Zhe rain must stop at some point in time." You chanced a look at him; he was smiling. "Zhat is when zhe sun comes out to brighten everyone's day, non?" You wanted to believe that. You wanted to believe that the sun could once again shine over you, like it did when you were with him. But it seemed impossible. You loved him and only him, and there was no other man for you.

Francis saw the look of surrender in your face. He smiled sadly and took your hand. "Let me tell you a story, __________," he offered. "Zhis is a story about a beautiful young girl. She was in love with an equally 'andsome young man. But zhe young man made a mistake, and zhe girl would not ever forgive 'im." You looked away. "But zhis story has a happy ending, mon cherie. As time passed, zhe rain zhat burdened zhe girl went away, and zhe sun came out. She 'ad found anozher man to be with 'er for zhe rest of 'er life."

"Stop," you begged, tears threatening to fall. "Stop telling me my story. I'm never going to find anyone else in this world..."

"Stop assuming I was talking about you." Francis looked down at you with a hard, serious expression. "Zhat girl's name was Madeline. And I loved her... But I made a mistake, and she moved on." Francis wiped a tear that betrayed your eye. "Everyzhing will be fine, __________. You'll see." He gave you a kind smile and kissed your forehead.

Suddenly the rain stopped, and the sun shone down onto Francis's beautiful blonde locks. A river of gold flowed in the azure sea of his eyes. And a little rosy color played on your cheeks. You found yourself staring at Francis a little longer than you deemed appropriate for the situation you were currently in. Francis smiled. "Come on, __________. Let's get some fresh air."

Francis led you to a nearby park. It smelled of fresh earth and wet greenery--it was the smell of the world after the cleansing rains had passed through. Francis did his best to entertain you and keep your mind off of the guy you had loved so much. Your phone kept exploding with messages from him, but you ignored them. Right now, only you and Francis existed; that was the only thing that mattered.

"So you never told me about this Madeline girl," you chuckled. "What was she like?"

Francis sighed. "She was beautiful, oui. She was very kind." Francis smiled. "When I was with 'er, I felt zhat zhe world made sense to me. It was perfect."

"What'd you do to lose a girl like that?" you asked. You'd think Francis would have worked exceptionally hard to keep a girl like that for a very long time.

Francis shook his head and a small smile played on his lips. "We could not be, mon cherie. You see..." He motioned you to lean in, as if he were telling you a secret. "I fell in love with anozher girl."

You rolled your eyes. "You're always falling in love with other girls, Francis. Why'd you give Madeline up? This new girl might not even be as perfect as Madeline was."

Francis chuckled. "Zhere are many zhings you don't know about me, __________. Sometimes perfection is too much. I don't like it."

You looked at your friend with a confused stare. Everyone strove for perfection. Why didn't Francis want a perfect girl to be his perfect lover in his perfect life? "So who's this new girl? Do I get to meet her, or are you gonna hide her from me, Francis?" you smirked.

"You have already met her, mon cherie," Francis laughed.

I have, you pondered. None of the girls you knew fit Francis' profile. They were too... easy... when they were around him. Francis loved a girl that was hard to get it. It gave him a challenge.

Francis stood and kissed your cheek. "I'll walk you home, __________."

On the way back, you shouted out names of every girl you knew might've been Francis's secret lover. But every single girl was turned down by the flirtatious Frenchman. "What about Ameli? She's pretty cute!" you guessed.

"Oui, she is! I dated her a couple of times, but she is not zhe girl~" Francis chimed.

You stood at the door of your home and gave Francis a hug. "Thank you, Francy-pants. You really helped me today."

Francis returned the embrace. "Oui, mon ami. Anytime." You suddenly felt him slip something in your hands. But before you could ask what it was, Francis turned on his heel and walked away down the street.

You smirked and looked at the object in your hand. It was a single sheet of paper with three little words on them--the three little words every girl wants to hear. You felt your face heat up and your heart pulled you towards the man who was walking away. You gave the paper a huge goofy grin and took off running toward him. "Francis!" You shouted.

Francis turned around with a clueless expression on his face. "O-oui?"

You jumped up at him, wrapping your arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. "Je t'aime," you breathed.

Francis's face turned red. "Quoi?"

"Je t'aime," you repeated softly. "That's all I got," you giggled.

Francis chuckled. It was cute to see you practicing his language. "Je t'aime, __________."
Request for :iconmizurechan:
link to picture~ [link]
dat picture :iconiwantitplz:

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

eejad;fjarijwieanajfomgwtfisthisidonteven- :iconfrancegimmegimme:

I always saw France as more of a Big Brother type, so that's why he's comforting you there in the beginning. Oh, but he's so cute! :iconloveloveplz:

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Story (c) :iconthreepinkdoors:
Hetalia (c) :iconhimaruyaplz:
You (c) :iconfrancesparklesplz:
© 2012 - 2024 threepinkdoors
Comments137
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Schwer-von-Begriff's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Vision
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Technique
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Impact

Alright, I will be straightforward at first and tell you what I like and what I dislike about your One-Shot. In all honesty I think you can write really wonderful - your way of words is simple, but because of that easy to read and to enjoy. You definitely have a good way with words - and that's what a writer should have, if he wants to write something good. You have to 'feel' what you write. You need to understand what kind of storytelling will cause what type of feeling and/or atmosphere. Thats something I really do enjoy about your stories.


However, the brackets are something that you don't have to use at all. They are things that pull you out of the story. They are big, blank blocks of nothingness and I don't want to fill them with a name. Maybe that is just my own opinion, but a story without these blocks or the [Name] fillers have a higher standart for me personally. That is why I gave you only 4 1/2 stars for vision. There shouldn't be mentions of [eye color], '____' or something similiar to that. The wonderful flow of words can't continue that way. Just write without it. Use 'you', instead of [Name]. Nobody has to say the readers name at all. You can tell the reader in a sentence that the protagonist said their name, without the name being used at all. Example: "I am ____.", you said, while extending your hand. VS. You extended your hand and told him your name. No blank block is used in the last sentence. What looks better to you?


Aside from that, I will now come to your Technique. Like I said, I like your writing style. It's colorful in it's own way, not too flashy, not too bold and not too fast paced. You could describe a little bit more, show and don't tell. I love stories that explain something through actions, without saying what that means afterwards. That gives the reader the opportunity to think about your story even after they finished reading. Don't just let Francis say that he loves her - show it with actions. They don't have to be too flashy, but simple things put into many words to show that what they have is special. That the reader/the protagonist finally knows what is going on - without saying it right away. I have to say, this story lives from the fact that the reader knows what is written on the paper sheet - I just want to say that you can work without that informaton and create something even bigger with it. This is a really, really cute little one-shot. But you could use this technique in some of your other works. It helps to create a special atmosphere and it is possible to let the reader imagine something you never thought of. That way everyone can create their 'own' story in their head. And it is such a wonderful thing to read the opinions of others, to know what they thought about the ending/something that happened. Because of this, and the blocks the story get's 4 1/2 stars for Technique and 3 1/2 for Impact.


It isn't very original, but it does not has to be. It's cute, it's fluffy. That was what you wanted, right? And it shows that fluff really well, though it could have been much more original. Still, I like the idea, even if it is overused. You did well with it, but because I knew that the end just had to be this way I will give you a 3 1/2 stars for Originality. That isn't very much, but the story does not live from the not-so-original storyline, anyway. Nothing wrong with a bit cliche.


I hope you find this critique fair. You can improve on some things - but really, everybody can. You have great way with words, but can work on the show, don't tell way of writing a story. While this story does not leave a big impact on me, your writing style surely does. Keep up the good work. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/h/h…" width="38" height="15" alt=":hug:" title="Hug"/>